The Optimal Seat

by Patois Counselors

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sirshannon
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sirshannon I am pissed off at every single one of you that knew about Patois Counselors and failed to tell me. Favorite track: Don't Stop The Rattle.
Nick Sakes
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Nick Sakes Hell f-in' yeah! PC brings it to me.
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1.
“Pick any totem, make it your own. Ramsey Lewis. Build your lexicon, brother. Nine touch nine.” To reach. To reach the crowning block. To reach for the crowning block of a temple, the man-made mountain top. Viewing is a new wave action. Pick up the control; press caption. “Whistling in distance” is the caption. It evokes a tepid reaction. Struck dumb by real life, so we submit to reality shows. They tuck em in saying “goodnight, tell me something only Kim would know” Struck dumb in a real sense, no penchant for self-defense. They tuck em in saying “good night”, alibi airtight. Mole hills in the real life stand in for reality goals. They’re flipping homes like hurricanes, setting that cash aflame. Scared to death of the real life, so we submit to reality shows. They tuck em in saying “goodnight, tell me something only Kim would know” Got a peek at the good life, felt weird some immeasurable way. One glimpse and we all went bust, live feed’s absolute must. Obsessed with the good life, sipping lean in a balcony suite. The simplest garments with exorbitant prices, a fuck boy fantasy.
2.
Hear that rattle? Alert the Wards. Another basement’s getting flooded with a rowdy and exuberant young bunch. They got a new style, and their tender ears are getting bent. Stop the rattle, you stop the event. There’s no sense in bringing law enforcement to this. The kids are merely living in this steam. They got a new style forged in cultural discontent. Stop the rattle, you stop the event. Sure is getting crowded, fixed capacity. That‘s what I call a party, yeah, welcome to the team. You know, we’ve got a code. Here’s the code. Sweet D Eddie, spinning samples into gravy. The speaker’s blown, surely no one is complaining. A little obscure, sure, but I knew what he meant. If you stop the rattle, you stop the event. Use a stick to poke what’s left of the creation. Crack the lid up on some fresh imagination. A five-spot in the bucket, is an evening well-spent Stop the rattle, you stop the event Here’s the code: 8361*
3.
Face of an incompetent jerk, the brazen novice goes to work in the great demarcation. Living in the great demarcation. How much can one position hurt? You’re slouching, tucking in your shirt in the great demarcation. You could leave a note at your desk listing every point you could stress. But who’d read it? Probably no one. You could wave every right to be had. You could pray to the god of your dad. Who’d believe it? Probably no one. Mondays come down every week, caffeine to keep me at the peak in the great demarcation. Tuesdays spent signaling defeat, the caffeine brainstem starting to leak in the great demarcation. A list of grievances, a kind of whistling, mosquito feeding near my ear. What good is patience? Comrades aplenty that won’t defend me. No, not this year, and not the next one.
4.
The Galvanizer’s stepping out. Got his own mirror in the fun house. A quick review of assets, and he’s on his way… Check. Make visual contact. Assert power, check. A Market Man conducts himself casually above both sides of lawfulness. And I’m a smiling pastel jock, trimmed and brimming with a synonym of confidence. I’m the Galvanizer, please don’t. “Austere! Austere!” is not the cheer, while out cavorting with associates. The dotdotdotdot spends quickly, yielding platinum leases in mispronounced locations. If the reservation’s wrong, I’ll shut it down and make you all wait. Then I might disrespect your evening with an unsurprising focus on emasculation. The Galvanizer is stepping out, yeah. I set it quick, and I get it quick. Zih zih. Check. Make visual contact. Assert power, check. Accountant flipped her wig at all the extralegal games that I been playing. Attendants clean my messes quietly as long as I continue paying. The Galvanizer is stepping out, yeah. I set it quick, and I get it quick. Zih zih.
5.
Poppa don’t mind that he’s losing time ‘cause everyone is there even when they’re gone. Pulling all-nighters, disassociating’s perfectly alright in theory. Resolute as his tenure winds around a singular point that a human designed It’s understandable when melodies hit. Just add it to the Real Book; we’ll keep it, shug. Meanwhile, I wanna live as the arrogant foil to chance chemical bonds from an erotic conception. I like to improvise, waving left and right, building repertoire with practice. Panic sets in as the hours wind around a singular point that some human designed.
6.
How can I get myself between the pillows of love in a volume of space when the mass isn’t up? I’ve got to get to the happenings to get with what’s happening. The force of attraction, relative to distance. I’m in a state, want some comfort to claim, Looking for warmth in a vacuum. Time is a lark, and my energy is waning Looking for warmth in a vacuum. What’s in a screen name? What’s on the screen? Something to occupy most human beings. Want to reach out and touch everybody. Low hanging memes, feline vids, and karate. Who feels empty now, is it you again? Draw a real deep breath, hold it, count to ten. Time is L' arc and your energy is waning Looking for warmth in a vacuum.
7.
Define beauty beyond what you see. Some don’t garner favor with ease. We find a heap of opinion as we develop our own. But it’s all mysterious and mostly un-shown. Take that for instance. I’m saying. Hands free, nothing you need. Hear, child, let beauty be. Spoil not if you disagree. Hear, child, let beauty be. Let the beauty be. That is totally fine. It’s not always pretty, and not always unique. Slightly faulty is San Andreas to me. We’re posted right on the line of Definitions of what we’re supposed to be. Pff. Take a look at that. Alright. Hands free, nothing you need. Hear, child, let beauty be. Spoil not if you disagree. Hear, child, let beauty be. Slightly faulty is, San Andreas to me We’re posted right on the line.
8.
You feign obligation toward invites and such, Act like your schedule is all filled up. But you wasted the morning. You wasted the evening. You wasted the morning, and you wasted the evening. Get another round, a new iteration. The top spins around, a new iteration. You waste the next morning, you waste the next evening. Yes, the pattern grows appealing. Here’s another round, a new iteration. The top spins around, a new iteration. Hobnobbers innovate their way into social delight. Leave the house, well you just might Get another round, a new iteration. The top spins around, a new iteration. You wait for a warning that warrants heeding. Got deliveries direct, now you're never leaving. You send out for grocery. Send out for cleaning. Check online for products. Check online for meaning. Finding little, just enough to keep returning. There’s very little, just enough to keep returning.
9.
Efficiency now in a temperate room, White walls and activities for us to pursue. Efficiency now, you are scratching your mark into chipboard antiques that were flawed from the start. The best you can hope for is a comfortable seat. But you’re still on a quest for that optimal seat and some efficiency now. Efficiency now, put the problems to bed. Solutions are ready-made, at least that’s what we’re fed. Efficiency now, the edifice gleams. But the soul is deficient; do you know what I mean? Ah, the best you can hope for is a comfortable seat. But you’re still on a quest for that optimal seat, and some efficiency now. Ah look, you have a creative manner about you, well… Effective at work, effective at play, Satisfactory marks to close out your day. Efficiency now, you are still in the race, no time for reflection, no time for embrace. Ah, the best you can hope for is a comfortable seat. But you’re still on a quest for that optimal seat, and some efficiency now Ah look, you have a creative manner about you But creating issues, well, that’s not very efficient.
10.
I lost my charge at the battle of tedium While texting blanks into the crypto-abyss. Spent the last few missing all the pocket games. Education don’t prepare you for this. There was a fleeting thought, and then it vanished. Without a power source, how will I manage? Lift the curse of power shortage. Just give me voltage. To get out this headspace, crucially. Impatient to resume. Another lightweight summoning some fortitude. I’m checking outlets for arcing and sparking. Got a fork in the wall and some rubber gloves. Got to charge before disembarking. I had a message, typed, and then it vanished. Without a power source, how will I manage? Keeping digital reams of lists, incompleted. And that’s not the worst of it, won’t even eat at a less than 3 star. Permanently consulting a device, a division of effort between man and nearly anyone else amounting to keeping digital reams of lists, incompleted. I lost my charge at the battle of tedium While texting blanks into the crypto-abyss. Spent the last few missing all the pocket games. And yes I’m lightly irritated by this I had a message, typed, and then it vanished Without a power source, how will I manage?
11.
Who will enlighten with a glimpse of what's to come or a metaphor in living's ways? Here is your guru, kid. He phoned from where he is and is asking/angling for your hard-earned pay. Wanted to be a person of interest, craved freedom from logins, Missed the point in words of inspiration. On the valley’s edge, staring into majesty. Morning meditation, afternoon lectures. Everything in focus pinpointed nothing. And there goes our guru. I was lacing up my robe when I saw a linen blur streak across the green. We got an inadvertent mantra. No beanbags in a circle. No greenery in the rumpus room. We had our share of substances adjacent to youth. And now that all of that's done I feel like a person of interest, Found freedom from logins, found the point in words of inspiration On the valley’s edge, staring into majesty. Quite a vision. There goes your guru, kid. Shhh, statement time. Shared a good cry with contemporaries, and that is totally fine.
12.
A kind of whistling in the distance.

about

Vinyl available from evernever-records.bandcamp.com/album/the-optimal-seat

Bo White - Vocals, recording, mixing
Lenny Muckle - Guitar
Taylor Knox - Bass
David Ulloa - Drums
Krizia Torres - Synthesizer
Robin Doermann - Synthesizer
Eddie Schneider - SP404 Guitar

Painting & photo - www.hollykeogh.com
Layout - Nick Goode

The world may have shifted in significant ways since 2018, but Patois Counselors remain one of the finest bands plying their trade since Proper Release, their debut album, was lavished with all manner of year-end praise from such respected sources as YellowGreenRed and the Bandcamp editorial staff. Recording once again for Ever/Never Records, The Optimal Seat doesn’t alter the formula, but throws enough curveballs at the listener to keep them on their toes. Patois Counselors are specialists, and their expertise lies in the ability to craft a perfect nervous hook, to sculpt their anxious music into addictive hybrids of post-punk pop. Patois Counselors songs overflow with so many winning ideas that it can be easy to gloss over just how succinct and satisfying the end result is. Following that logic, The Optimal Seat is a proper release that delivers what an album once promised -- twelve songs of tense songcraft stuffed with enough flavor to keep your lips smacking, and your fingers snapping, long into the night.
Head Counselor Bo White leads his band through a tangle of needling guitar lines, deft rhythms and adroit synthesizer flourishes like a well- seasoned vet. All of these elements are present and accounted for in the confident kicker “Realities/Series Of Viceroys.” “Don’t Stop The Rattle” flirts with the anthemic while establishing the push-pull dynamics of Patois Counselors. Alternating frantic verses with moments of lucidity, “Probably No One” highlights a compelling undertow that continues throughout the album. “Let Beauty Be” effortlessly executes the kind of rousing new wave that almost no one has managed to get right in the last thirty-odd years. Therein lies the rub -- Patois Counselors are a band that exists now, and The Optimal Seat is beckoning you to sit down. “Give Me Voltage” is a masterclass in utilizing metaphor to peel back the layers of our tech-driven society. White skewers the always-online as they compile “digital reams of lists,” yet he doesn’t stab from a place above, but rather from within, the fray. The distinction speaks volumes. This is smart music for smart people. Closing out The Optimal Seat, “There Goes Our Guru” strolls right into “Southern Living” like a rural Pere Ubu basking in the sun and gulping great lungfuls of fresh air. Patois Counselors are an immensely capable band, and you can rest assured that they will meet all of your expectations, and then some.
-ever/never records

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released November 6, 2020

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Patois Counselors Charlotte, North Carolina

Breathing and looking to play.

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patoiscounselors
(at) gmail (dot) com

a slowly rotating cast of toughs and softies, currently at six members

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